You left.
I begged you to stay.
You left.
My heart shattered, I struggled,
I wailed on the kitchen floor.
In the midst of it all
I stopped begging and let go instead.
On the other side of this darkness
that showed up as grief, abandonment,
betrayal, anger and hatred,
I found the truth that I had heard
at the park that day I questioned
our dysfunctional relationship -
Angels spoke to me and said,
"She is not the one."
I wanted you to be the one so
I ignored this loud message
and begged instead.
It wasn't you though afterall that I was seeking;
It wasn't another soulmate either.
It was me I was looking for -
The me under the intense negative emotions of Earth
that were past, present and future lives combined.
The intensity of being an empath and
seeing the sadness behind the smile;
hearing the struggle under the I'm fine;
feeling the underneath of the optics.
I felt all of it as my heart broke wide open -
Wide open to more love and all that is love.
The one I was seeking was me -
The part of me that needs nothing and has everything.
Thank you, Kendra. Yes, having a heart wide open is a path that only the heartbroken find when they pass through to the other side. I remember our talks and know that you have walked this path as well.
Beth this is a beautiful poem. I have been there. I so discovered myself through pain, but without pain do we grow? My eyes started watering while I read Heart Wide Open. Yet, I experienced a sense of peace and contentment. I am very pleased to have discovered many things about myself throughout the years. Yet my awakening happened at 72 years when I was so close to death. I tried to bargain with God but he new all along the answer. It was up to me to discover that LOVE was the answer and it was up to me to help others discovered themselves. Thanks for sharing your words and I am pleased to have found them on my phone.
Thank you, Aunt Peggy. I appreciate you reading my poetry and commenting. In my opinon, in the beginning pain is one of the only ways we know how to grow as human. As I have learned to trust and surrender to the Divine I have found there may be pain, but not the overwhelming suffering I used to endure. I think about what Buddha says, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
Beautiful Beth! That struggle is real!! Hugs!
Thank you, Kendra. Yes, having a heart wide open is a path that only the heartbroken find when they pass through to the other side. I remember our talks and know that you have walked this path as well.
Beth this is a beautiful poem. I have been there. I so discovered myself through pain, but without pain do we grow? My eyes started watering while I read Heart Wide Open. Yet, I experienced a sense of peace and contentment. I am very pleased to have discovered many things about myself throughout the years. Yet my awakening happened at 72 years when I was so close to death. I tried to bargain with God but he new all along the answer. It was up to me to discover that LOVE was the answer and it was up to me to help others discovered themselves. Thanks for sharing your words and I am pleased to have found them on my phone.
Thank you, Aunt Peggy. I appreciate you reading my poetry and commenting. In my opinon, in the beginning pain is one of the only ways we know how to grow as human. As I have learned to trust and surrender to the Divine I have found there may be pain, but not the overwhelming suffering I used to endure. I think about what Buddha says, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”